T has this friend. He shows up randomly on our doorstep, bike in our grass, wanting to “hang out” (I try hard not to say “play” now that they’re such Young Men). And he has no compunction about telling T that he is here because he has already stopped at friend A, B, and C’s houses, but they couldn’t “hang out”, so he’s here now. And T takes it in stride, and they head downstairs for some quality XBox time.

This is strange to me. But perhaps this is how boys/young men/men work. Perhaps they don’t care that they were choice F, or Q, or Z for this dude. Perhaps it is enough that they thought of him at all. Still just seems weird to me.

But perhaps that is because of my personal friend experience growing up. See, I never really had the problem many girls experience with boyfriends (yeah, all 2 of them before PJ) not wanting to be exclusively with me. But my girl friends? I somehow managed to pick a string of female friends to whom I devoted myself entirely, only to discover that to them, I was “one of [their] best friends”. Ouch. To me that hurt. Every time. I gave them complete fidelity, while they had a host of besties waiting in the wings, and I was choice…um….M.

As I’ve matured (*ahem*), I have come to appreciate the beauty of having multiple friends in my life. Not all of them hold the same place/position in my life, and those places change constantly with the ebb and flow of life. And I actually like this – now. So perhaps I’m just late in the game of How To Have Friends, but I still would never let any of those wonderful ladies know that I am with them only after having tried everyone else first. But that’s just me.


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