I’m picking up the kids from school today, and remember that Mace was talking about some kid picking on him. I ask for more details, which he proceeds to rattle off. I then ask if he has told any of his teachers about this kid’s behavior. To which he replies, “No, but I told Mrs. Shaw when I was in her office yesterday.” Um, Mrs. Shaw is the principal. So I calmly ask, “Why were you in Mrs. Shaw’s office?” Mace – starting to realize his slip up: “Um, cuz I threw a chair.” *Great. Big. Sigh.*
I drag everyone back into the school, have a sit down to get the story out of him, then grab his teacher as she heads back in.
For reference, the third grade uses this behavior system where everyone in the class starts out the day with clothespins (they call them clips) in the “neutral” position each day. When they do something extra good (or bad), their clip is moved up (or down) one spot. You can go 3 places up or down, where it stops with either a Super Student designation, with a call home to announce it to mom and dad, or – at the opposite end – a call home to report a less-than-stellar day.
So, it turns out that – once again – Mace was frustrated that his behavior had resulted in his clip being moved from almost the top, all they way down to almost the bottom. In his frustration, he proceeds to yell at his deskmates, then throw a chair. At which point his teacher suggests a visit to Mrs. Shaw. The last time his clip got moved down, he ran from the room (twice) and had to be located.
His “anger management” issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. He was in a class with other select students with the school’s Child Development Specialist to try and develop strategies to deal with anger and other peer relationships. Doesn’t seem to have helped. But we’ll keep trying. We’ll keep talking with him, trying to understand him and his feelings, and helping him to understand what is and is not acceptable behavior. And meanwhile, he’ll keep being Mace.